It felt like it was either much more complicated than he was making it out to be, or much less. Lan Wangji was Lan Wangji, and it was silly to expect either of their feelings to change. He lets himself be swept up in the other's arms and only fidgets so he doesn't accidentally crease the new drawing. Wei Wuxian returns it, if softly, fingers clinging to the fabric of Lan Wangji's robe.
"Of course not. I might not have the best memory," he nods, "but I couldn't forget my Lan Zhan. We're lucky, I think, to be able to be friends, to even have a chance to meet."
He laughs a little, because he always has to lighten the mood, "besides, it's hard enough to handle just one Wei Wuxian. Could you really handle two?"
He continues to hold him in his arms as he holds him close. "Then don't forget me. If Wei Ying wants to bother and pester, then he leaves me no choice but to love him too. For fate brought us together."
He doesn't know how this is going to work. He raised to love only one and he himself believed in this by tradition. Is this why Emperors or nobles have concubines and have many lovers? Still, he doesn't want Wei Ying to struggle over his feelings, be jealous, or cry over the likes of him. They will figure it out somehow.
"Just two. Just Wei Ying. Because I love you too, and Wei Ying is the only soul I love with all of my heart and it's this heart that belongs to Wei Ying. So this, belongs to you too. My heart, you have it completely." He said, with a happiness that his best friend and confidante supported him.
He gaze into his eyes, locked into his for a few moments, tilted his head aside, and gently presses his lips against him for a kiss as that seems fair for Wei Ying's trouble for loving him. Light at first, and then tentatively deepen it.
It used to be a rare thing, to be held like this. Something he'd go to Shijie for when he was drunk and particularly down, and he could probably count on one hand the number of hugs he'd received from Jiang Cheng. There was something in it that made him feel safe, that chased away the buzzing of his thoughts and let him feel comforted, vulnerable. He never thought he'd have one, let alone two people in his life that would hold him like this, whenever he wanted, whenever he needed.
His thoughts feel like a jumbled mess, whenever he considers where he should stand with his own soul-twin and of course, with Lan Wanji's soul-twin as well. The differences in their histories feel like bare coin-flips, little changes here and there, while the foundation is still the same, and how is he supposed to not love Lan Wangji? Not feel his heart thrum in his chest when those eyes meet his, or the electricity when their lips meet?
Don't think, both versions of Lan Wangji had told him, and he tried desperately to listen to that advice. He lets his eyes flutter closed, and like this, the kiss is so very familiar, his lips like coming home. The gentle urging to deepen it is something his body reacts to on instinct, opening to him with the slightest tilt of his head and parting of lips.
The kiss is warm and, inwardly Lan Wangji himself stiffen and felt tense in every fiber of his body as if he's going to be punished somehow. Yet it's Wei Ying that's kissing him and he finds that it doesn't hurt at all. It's sweet, soft, warm, and tender. His body reacts by instinct and he tries to relax into the kiss and felt a wash of comfort and safety instead as if his kiss can heal whatever pain he has to endure. His heart is racing and then slowly slows down when Wei Ying hugs him back and hold him as if he is precious.
Eventually, the kiss has to break for air, and he has to part from him. He looks into his eyes, dazed from the kiss. He never knew or realize he holds a key to open up a door, and he lets Wei Ying in. Breath slowed, and he wants to take all the emotions slow.
"Wei Ying." He said. Even though a part of him still felt brittle, and he appears stoic and strong, that was a mask, and he can drop the mask in his presence. His hug around him doesn't loosen, as he doesn't want to let him go and he continues to hold him.
His breath comes out warm and shaky when they part, as he tries to catch it, tries to slow his erratic heart. They're close enough that he's sure Lan Zhan can feel it beating wildly, no matter how he might try to hide.
It's not until he hears Lan Zhan's voice, speaking his name, that he finally startles out of his haze, half-lidded eyes blinking into focus as he pulls back enough to look up at Lan Wangji's face. Wei Wuxian's is flushed, he's sure, caught unawares as he was.
"I... oh. I'm fine, I..." he insists, thoughts finally starting to catch up with him again. He felt a little dizzy.
"I'm sorry I can't be... I can't be more to you than this," he swallows, "your Wei Ying needs you."
Lan Wangji sat still as a statue. It takes every effort not to instantly smack himself in a reaction as he felt his own self-restraint crumbled. His breathing is slow and he felt a heaviness of guilt in his chest. He sees how flushed he is, and how dizzy he looks, so he reached over to cup his face to help steady him, strokes through his bang and tucks behind his ear to comfort him.
"Don't be sorry. We'll be married soon...and your Lan Zhan needs you. So, that seems to be fair." One thing for certain, their significant others will be the ones they go to bed with, most certainly, and he learns that they do have feelings for each other, but it can't be more than that. At least, for now.
"Wei Ying, don't rush and take your time. It is as it is now."
Don't be sorry? It's hard not to think of a dozen reasons he ought to be, but instead he nods slowly.
"Right," he says softly. This Lan Zhan's Wei Wuxian will recover, and they'll be fine, right? All of them will be fine. Better than fine, he hopes. Lan Zhan deserves to be happy, and a whole lot more than that.
Wei Ying doesn't need to be sorry. It doesn't seem necessary to him, but sometimes it is. Wei Ying is his sole happiness, among many things if anything, he wishes he could do more to make him happier. Even across time, worlds, their lives are interwoven together.
With a nod, "It's time for me to go." The sweetness and warmth doesn't last.
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no subject
"Of course not. I might not have the best memory," he nods, "but I couldn't forget my Lan Zhan. We're lucky, I think, to be able to be friends, to even have a chance to meet."
He laughs a little, because he always has to lighten the mood, "besides, it's hard enough to handle just one Wei Wuxian. Could you really handle two?"
no subject
He doesn't know how this is going to work. He raised to love only one and he himself believed in this by tradition. Is this why Emperors or nobles have concubines and have many lovers? Still, he doesn't want Wei Ying to struggle over his feelings, be jealous, or cry over the likes of him. They will figure it out somehow.
"Just two. Just Wei Ying. Because I love you too, and Wei Ying is the only soul I love with all of my heart and it's this heart that belongs to Wei Ying. So this, belongs to you too. My heart, you have it completely." He said, with a happiness that his best friend and confidante supported him.
He gaze into his eyes, locked into his for a few moments, tilted his head aside, and gently presses his lips against him for a kiss as that seems fair for Wei Ying's trouble for loving him. Light at first, and then tentatively deepen it.
no subject
His thoughts feel like a jumbled mess, whenever he considers where he should stand with his own soul-twin and of course, with Lan Wanji's soul-twin as well. The differences in their histories feel like bare coin-flips, little changes here and there, while the foundation is still the same, and how is he supposed to not love Lan Wangji? Not feel his heart thrum in his chest when those eyes meet his, or the electricity when their lips meet?
Don't think, both versions of Lan Wangji had told him, and he tried desperately to listen to that advice. He lets his eyes flutter closed, and like this, the kiss is so very familiar, his lips like coming home. The gentle urging to deepen it is something his body reacts to on instinct, opening to him with the slightest tilt of his head and parting of lips.
no subject
Eventually, the kiss has to break for air, and he has to part from him. He looks into his eyes, dazed from the kiss. He never knew or realize he holds a key to open up a door, and he lets Wei Ying in. Breath slowed, and he wants to take all the emotions slow.
"Wei Ying." He said. Even though a part of him still felt brittle, and he appears stoic and strong, that was a mask, and he can drop the mask in his presence. His hug around him doesn't loosen, as he doesn't want to let him go and he continues to hold him.
"Wei Ying. Are you all right?"
no subject
It's not until he hears Lan Zhan's voice, speaking his name, that he finally startles out of his haze, half-lidded eyes blinking into focus as he pulls back enough to look up at Lan Wangji's face. Wei Wuxian's is flushed, he's sure, caught unawares as he was.
"I... oh. I'm fine, I..." he insists, thoughts finally starting to catch up with him again. He felt a little dizzy.
"I'm sorry I can't be... I can't be more to you than this," he swallows, "your Wei Ying needs you."
no subject
"Don't be sorry. We'll be married soon...and your Lan Zhan needs you. So, that seems to be fair." One thing for certain, their significant others will be the ones they go to bed with, most certainly, and he learns that they do have feelings for each other, but it can't be more than that. At least, for now.
"Wei Ying, don't rush and take your time. It is as it is now."
no subject
"Right," he says softly. This Lan Zhan's Wei Wuxian will recover, and they'll be fine, right? All of them will be fine. Better than fine, he hopes. Lan Zhan deserves to be happy, and a whole lot more than that.
"I will."
no subject
With a nod, "It's time for me to go." The sweetness and warmth doesn't last.